Unwanted Thoughts

I never wanted these thoughts to occur. I never asked for this to happen to me but it did. I never asked to have my mind, body and innocent be ripped from me but it did. Blaming my self is very easy. Day in and day out, I blame myself for what happened to me. Day in and day for 14 years your actions on my body has caused me these unwanted thoughts.

I never wanted these thoughts to occur. I have tried to keep a part of myself that you ripped away from me. But all I can hear is your voice.

“Well I got what I wanted”…

Yes, yes you did get what you wanted…you also plagued me with guilt and feed me lies. You lured me in to your game and I foolishly feel for it. I never wanted to get hurt…but I did…

Yes, you got my innocence but you didn’t take away my drive…no, you accidently feed me that. You drove me to realize that I deserved better. I didn’t deserve this hell you dragged me in. So, I fought my way out. I didn’t fight when you took my purity but I fought after five long years of hell and loneliness.

Over the years, you’ve tried to lure me back in… I never wanted these feelings to flood me again. So, I found love elsewhere that was real. I found happiness again that I thought you took from me. I never wanted these evil thoughts to occur.

So, I said “fuck it” and created an entire new and happier thoughts to drown out your heinous actions…


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I am a stay at home blogger & self- publish author. I love to write and blog about creative writing and things that interest or inspire my work. I'm also an artist and abstract illustrator. I also blog about family life and my experiences.

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