Thank You Ryan…

Last night, after 6 years of your passing I finally watched Jackass 3.5 and honestly I’m shocked that I didn’t break down once. A few tears streamed down my face when ever you sat and talked about your few segments with your brother Bam. I don’t think people understand how much your work and your gift of making people laugh meant to me.

The year was 2004. Jackass Number Two wont be released till 2006. I was in such a bad shape. I was in the brink of failing high school. I was in a abusive relationship with a much older person, I was trying to get over my rape by my boyfriend and my abortion from it but I felt like nothing worked but hurting myself. This year was nothing but hell for me, but some how I stumbled on to watching a viva la bam episode. Ever since seeing you do crazy stunts with Bam, I was just instently hooked. This turned me into getting all your CKY videos and following the Jackass crew that I felt like all of you saved me from myself.

When I decided to go see Jackass Number Two by myself, I was sitting in my high school gyms locker room crying my eyes out. I didn’t know how to move on with myself or how to cope with my feelings. Cutting myself the previous night didn’t do anything but cause me more pain. So at that moment I decided to just go to the movies and see you on the big screen. I knew not to get food because of the content you made. But honestly your craziness with your crew, helped me laugh and smile more. The pain I felt went away when you came on screen…and for this I thank you and to the whole Jackass family.

During your passing I was pregnant with my second child. My husband at the time didn’t want to tell me or have me find it on the internet. I cried for hours knowing that you won’t be on this earth anymore. I wanted to personally thank you for helping me during my darkest times. You were my bright light and I am forever grateful for the laughter and smile you have given me.

I know me waiting 6 years to watch Jackass 3.5 is a long stretch. But I thought seeing it would bring back horrible memories of my past…instead it brought back the happiest memories that I will hold forever in my heart.

And for that I thank you…


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I am a stay at home blogger & self- publish author. I love to write and blog about creative writing and things that interest or inspire my work. I'm also an artist and abstract illustrator. I also blog about family life and my experiences.

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